Forgiveness

One of the most important qualities of our Pure Dhamma practice is to never stop contemplating and refining what we think we have understood. Once true understanding has arrived in our heart, language becomes cumbersome and useless to explain or qualify it, and so all we can do is point in a certain direction and hope the disciple will continue with their investigation until their own transcendence of words takes place. Then they will know, beyond ideas, beyond belief systems and beyond comfortable notions.

This is the way of Dhamma.

Forgiveness is part of our Christian based cultural way of thinking, but does not exist in Dhamma understanding.

Here we can reflect a little bit further when we ask ourselves; why do I want to be forgiven? How do I feel when I think I have been forgiven, and what did I understand from that?

Many years ago a student of mine told me this story:

She had fallen out with her closest friend and hard words had been used in the break up. My student felt awful about her behaviour and so one day, she drove the three hours to her former friends house and rang the door bell. Her friend, still angry at her opened the door and harshly asked, "what do you want?"

"I want you to forgive me," said my student.

"O.K. said the other, you're forgiven," and closed the door.

Now we need to ask, why did my student feel the need to be forgiven, and even if she received the words, did she actually feel better?

The answer of course, was no!

Everything in our life is about ourselves, and once we understand this we are free from even the most subtle mental movements of seeking our happiness, our peace and our own self identity from outside sources.

The heart accepts without conditions and does not judge. It observes the world and the behaviour of others without comment and feels completely free to respond with strength and force when necessary, but always with love.

We can only forgive when we stand above another, we can only receive forgiveness when we stand below another. But our Dhamma way is to accept and then respond to the behavior of the millions of unawakened beings that occupy this planet.

Beings are the way they are, and that is their choice. You are the way that you are and that is your choice. Self responsibility is an important aspect of Dhamma and whoever we are and whatever we do, we must always live with the kammic consequences of the mind states we empower.

It is ourselves who perform unwholesome actions
and it is ourselves who will meet the result.

It is ourselves who perform wholesome actions
and it is ourselves who will purify this mind.

Purity and impurity are personal concerns.

No-one can purify another.

(The Dhammapada. Vs 165)

May all beings be happy