I hate Michael Kewley!

Some days after one of our New Year retreats in Budh Gaya, the diary of a mature female student from Canada was found in a small cafe. Written in bold letters on one of the pages were the few words:

I hate Michael Kewley. I hate Michael Kewley. I hate Michael Kewley.

For ten seasons I had the privilege of offering ten day Vipassana retreats with my assistant teacher, Henry, at the International Meditation Centre.
These retreats were very popular, not only because of the purity of the teachings, but also the discipline we gently insisted upon. Everyone was encouraged to give up their own ideas and just do what they were supposed to do! When we have specific guidelines as our support, practice perhaps paradoxically, becomes easier.
The days were long and the conditions simple, which suits the practice of recognizing the mental habits and almost unconscious coping devices we use to avoid meeting the truth and reality of this being that we call ‘self.’

As a part of this practice, each person would come to my room for a private interview. Even if this is a retreat formality, it is still an occasion to be honest and open in front of the teacher.

On one such an occasion, this lady sat in front of me and began to explain several things about her life that felt like an attempt to impress me; the number of retreats she had attended with other teachers, her understanding of Dhamma and the depth of her practice.
Having listened for several minutes, I was able to ask a simple but poignant question about her life.
Suddenly there was a silence and the recognition that her attempts to impress had failed and she had realised her own dishonesty.
“How did you know that?” were the only words she could find.
In the environment of the loving and non-judgemental mind, we always show ourselves.

In such a situation, the Master can only offer support, compassion and guidance, and this of course is what occurred.

However, so disturbed was she by this revelation that I had seen through her mask, she could only later when alone, explode with fear and anger, hence the comments in her diary.
When her diary had been returned to her she sought me out to apologize and explain those comments to me, hence this little story.

The purpose of our Dhamma training is to put down ego and any form of self identity and allow the uncorrupted manifestation of the heart to appear.

No more hiding behind personal views and opinions, cultural politeness or gender identities; just a loving heart sharing itself with the world.
Only here will we find freedom

                                                         May all beings be happy.