Self Love.

Perhaps the biggest problem with the idea of loving ourselves, is the word love.

In common usage we have a special meaning for it as it relates to relationships with our partners, parents, siblings, pets etc. We also use it to describe our feelings towards our preferred sports teams, personalities, movies, in fact anything at all that we can be possessive about.

However, Dhammic Love or Metta, is none of those things.

Metta really means unconditional acceptance as opposed to a possessive attachment, therefore to love oneself means to accept oneself without conditions. It does not mean we have to like ourselves or the mind states that manifest for us due to our old Kamma, but rather, simply be at peace with them as they naturally arise and pass away. These are not your possessions and so you don’t have to feel responsible or them, in the same way we can observe clouds in they sky. They come and go, have particular but changing shapes and an apparent reality, but if we simply accept clouds as clouds and mind states as mind states, they cannot harm us. This is called, loving oneself.

One cannot let go, letting go happens when we are not involved in the situation, the moment we don’t mind what the mind presents. Our responsibility begins only in the moment when we indulge or repress these different moments of mind and we find ourselves creating a world based in desire or fear.

Be kind to yourself, be patient and don’t set goals based upon popular misunderstandings of Dhamma.

May all beings be happy.